Tuesday, April 24, 2007

B is for Bunyip

"Lenny, baby. G’Day, mate. So good to hear from you. What can I do ya for?
What? You want to cancel the book gig? But that’s a sweet deal. I fought hard for–yes, I did tell you you’d have to pose for the illustrator of the book’s cover. What can I say? The guy’s a real stickler for reality. Well, what’s the world supposed to think? You crawl out of a billabong one week wearing a bear’s fur and fish scales, then the next you’re in a children’s book with a snake’s body and bat wings. What image? You look different every time someone ogles you in
some Outback watering hole.

"No, Lenny. I’m not upset. I just think that–movie? What m–oh yeah, I’m still hammering that one out. Oh yeah, a real classy horror picture. Same guys that did Mad Max. Yeah, you’ll be shot mostly at night. No, I haven’t seen a rough draft of the script yet, but they tell me it’s a doozie. Canberra. Yes, you’ll have your own trailer.

"Now listen, mate. Back to the book gig. I think that–I think you should–what? No,
please don’t eat anybody, especially womenfolk. Remember what I told you about good and bad publicity? Hello? Len? Damn overseas phone lines."

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